wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
