just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
