Ambien. No doubt about it.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
