"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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