ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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