she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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