You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
