Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
