i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize