Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize