I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
