Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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