No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
