im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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