Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
