So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
