She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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