That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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