We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
