my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
