Screwed.edu
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
