My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize