No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you will always have a special place in my vag
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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