the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize