I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think I won the penis lottery.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
