So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
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