How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
