We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize