I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize