So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
