I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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