So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
