Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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