Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
