Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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