A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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