trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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