When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
