One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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