i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
