If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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