got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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