I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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