thus making me awesome and them whores
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
