hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's rum buckets o'clock
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
