At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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