Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
