am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
