You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
