Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Randomize
