they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
