i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
