The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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