you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize