I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
