Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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