Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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