my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
