I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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